Feb
28
Shopping for a Clown
February 28, 2007 | Leave a Comment
Feb
27
Squash Every Saturday
February 27, 2007 | Leave a Comment
for more RACKAfracka see www.fritzcartoons.com
Feb
26
Bay Area “Fritz” Humor Awards Show Draws Record Low Ratings
February 26, 2007 | Leave a Comment
By Dan Wheeler
Sunday night’s low budget “Fritz” humor awards gala drew an even smaller audience than its most pessimistic detractors predicted. The awards show had been hyped for months as the “thinking man’s alternative to the Oscars” by Fritz, the show’s lead promoter, producer and sole nominee for every award category. Media coverage was sparse, with my administrative assistant and me being the only members of the press in sight.
Gloria Sanchez and I had endured months of begging from Fritz. “You’ve got to come, please” Fritz would blubber. “I’ve never been nominated for an award before and it would mean so much to me.” We felt so sorry for him we couldn’t back out even when Fritz told us that the show would not be held as promised at the Great American Music Hall with Switchfoot providing musical entertainment. As it turned out, we were lucky to get a corner booth at the Royal Exchange bar. Fritz explained that he had trouble finding sponsors for an awards show that went head-to-head with the Oscars. “They kept asking how big my audience was and exactly which glamorous movie stars were attending” he whined. “Its like they didn’t care about encouraging humorists. I couldn’t even get a political party to get behind me.”
Like most awards shows, the Fritz awards were full of embarrassing displays of neediness and insecurity and long acceptance speeches. Fritz would talk about other people that desperately wanted a Fritz and then proudly award himself the “Most Handsomest Man Ever” Fritz, the “Best Funny Story Idea Taken from Wheeler” Fritz, the “Favorite Son” Fritz and a few other psychologically revealing awards. After each one, he would stop and call his mother and tell her how happy he was. Gloria and I could only stand it as long as the free drinks were coming, but those ran out long before the speeches did and the bartender forced the entire awards show to leave.
Feb
26
Local Man has Hare Raising Answers to World Hunger
February 26, 2007 | Leave a Comment
by Sam Goldsmith (intern writer)
The retired Pizza Hut franchise owner has converted his vacant parlor into a giant bunny hutch with an emphasis on “giant bunny”.
With the sudden success enjoyed by East German rabbit farmer, Karl Szmolinksy, who has been breeding mammoth rabbits called German Giant Greys for more than 30 years; Schmalz felt an American rabbit cwould soon find it’s place in the hasenfeffer market. The European bruisers weigh in at about 45
pounds and can feed a hungry family of eight…(with a side of potatoes). Schmaltz felt he could do better. And he did.
The Colma Bunnies are much larger and a more a cattle-like presence in the South San Francisco community. Without employing biological or in-humane ranching techniques the bunnies have for some reason grown to four times their German cousin’s size. They’re certainly the talk of the town.
“They just stop hopping around when they get to the size of a cocker spaniel,” says Schmalz’s wife and number one hutch-hand, Bitsie. ” It’s eat, eat, poop and eat”, she says Read more
Feb
26
Hard Rock Comedy
February 26, 2007 | Leave a Comment
more RACKAfracka at fritzcartoons.com
Feb
23
Intern Sam Misses the Best Happy Hour Ever!
February 23, 2007 | Leave a Comment
by fritz
Sam Goldsmith, Crooked Street Press intern writer, missed the “best happy hour ever” last night as he decided that taking care of his kids would be a better way to spend his time. Owner Fritz (28) and assistant Dan Wheeler (really old) had planned many days in advance to meet at the Royal Exchange Bar in San Francisco to have some drinks and to celebrate the success of the RACKAfracka cartoon which has carried the website thus far.
“There was much laughter.” Fritz proclaimed. “After the first 3 rounds of FREE beers came out the fun really began.” Read more
Feb
22
Chicken of the Sea
February 22, 2007 | Leave a Comment
Feb
21
Bird Calling Cartoon
February 21, 2007 | Leave a Comment
Feb
20
Local San Francisco Man Has No Game
February 20, 2007 | Leave a Comment
by Fritz
It was a perfect Sunday afternoon at the top of San Francisco’s Russian Hill. Just a little bit of wind but mostly it was sunshine and a perfect time for tennis. Dan Wheeler and Fritz found themselves with a beer in one hand and a cigar in the other sitting on a bench watching some people play tennis and shoot hoops. Dan was making several comments about the other people who were playing especially picking on th Old Lady with a walker who was just out to enjoy the day nothing more.
Fritz made a comment to Dan that maybe he should shut his yapper until he got on the tennis court after the last beer of the six pack was gone. Dan did not agree. Read more
Feb
20
Declared Guilty
February 20, 2007 | Leave a Comment
more RACKAfracka at www.fritzcartoons.com
