My Neighbor

February 19, 2007 | Leave a Comment

My Neighbor

Feb

18

I Guess I’m Ready (Part I in a series)

February 18, 2007 | Leave a Comment

By Dan Wheeler

No really, I’m quite excited about it. The Baby that is. It is scheduled to be here in about six months, so I have some time to get fully excited about it.

For the longest time, I couldn’t figure out why people would want to have a baby. Of course, all parents will eagerly tell you that having kids is the best thing ever, but that begs the question: why are they the best thing ever? The answer is not obvious to me, a man who was single for 34 years and can reach a murderous rage in less than .8 nanoseconds after a baby whimpers 12 rows behind me in an airplane. The sound can penetrate stone and bone, overpower howling jet engines and make one long for an act of terrorism. I would not put “likes kids” in my MySpace profile if I were so lame at this age to have a profile. Read more