Jul
17
Neibaum San Francisco Mayor Campaign Off to Rocky Start
July 17, 2007 | 1 Comment
“I really didn’t want it to start this way.” Mason V. Neibaum, Mayor Candidate
by Fritz
San Francisco- On the wake of a disastrous launch interview with Crooked Street Press reporter Chip Burns, Mason V. Neibaum (the “V” stands for Victory) has dug a huge hole.
Monday Neibaum was on the Chip Burns Show as a way to announce to San Francisco that he would be running for mayor against the very popular Mayor Gavin Newsom. During the interview Burns asked some tough questions as he is known to do of which Neibaum was ill prepared. Shortly after Neibaum sat down, Burns was already asking him about his alcoholic past and if that was the worst thing that was discussed Neibaum would still Read more
Jul
16
Chip Burns Interview with Mason V. Neibaum
July 16, 2007 | 2 Comments
Hello everyone. My name is Chip Burns. Today we have Mason V. Neibaum as our guest. Mr. Neibaum is a calculator watch salesman with Johnson’s Watch Emporium on Nob Hill. He is a husband of Nancy Neibaum and a father to one daughter. He is on my show today to make an announcement. Mr. Neibaum what do you have for us?
Jul
15
Nice Classmate Succeeds; Depression Grips Class of ‘96
July 15, 2007 | 1 Comment
By Dan Wheeler
Connecticut – Anne Hennigar, 1996 graduate of NYU School of Law and 11-year staff attorney in Connecticut’s Office of the Attorney General, was promoted two days ago and is now the state’s youngest Attorney General ever. Apparently the whole dang state government recognized Anne’s hard work, incredible legal talent and overall virtue. Even her peers acknowledged that if anyone deserved the top job, it was Anne. In a press conference today announcing the promotion, Connecticut Governor John DeVine gushed about how much he looked forward to working with Anne, what an inspiration she was to the nation’s children and blah blah blah. Read more
Jul
14
Hollywood Comes to Treasure Island
July 14, 2007 | Leave a Comment
Contributed to Crooked Street Press by Sam Goldsmith
San Francisco- Treasure Island will be back in the movie business again. It’s been a while since Hollywood stopped by and so it’s a welcome sight to see the equipment trucks and catering vans tying up traffic near the old aircraft hangers again. Past shoots like Indiana Jones, Nash Bridges, The Hulk, and Flubber are just a few of the minor classics to come from the spooky, empty base in the Bay.
Jul
13
Man Makes Millions from Nigerian Scam
July 13, 2007 | 1 Comment
Contributed to Crooked Street Press by Dave Lindley
CSP: Good Afternoon Mr. Lark.
RL: Greetings poor person! (Laughs abruptly) I’m just teasing. Read more
Jul
12
Estate Attorney With Tourettes Learning to Adjust
July 12, 2007 | Leave a Comment
“I call it well-timed-word-enhancment…F&#@ SH** B*^%#!” -George Henry Estate Planner
by Fritz
San Francisco- Estate Planner George Henry came down with a severe case of tourette syndrome about 9 months ago strangely enough while he was in front of a judge in a court room. Henry says that the last nine months has been hard on himself and loved ones around him “especially the people that make me mad F&#@ SH** B*^%#!” Where it has been especially tough is on the job as an estate planner to families Read more
Jul
11
Bucket of Chicken Wings Kills Two
July 11, 2007 | 3 Comments
Witness say that it was a suicide.
“The last words I heard him say was that he just wanted one more.” Lucy Chang Buffalo Wings waitress
by Fritz
San Francisco- In an effort to find the ultimate chicken wing Sammy Golds and Morty Wallace chose to watch the Major League Baseball All-Star game at a local greasy spoon called the Buffalo Wing Express. Golds and Wallace died later that night due to an explosion. Read more
Jul
10
Blue-Footed Booby Cartoon
July 10, 2007 | Leave a Comment
Jul
10
Ex-Giant Wins Bunt Contest
July 10, 2007 | Leave a Comment
by Fritz
Daly City- Former Giant Dustan Mohr captured this years Bunt Contest as he laid down a bunt down the third base line just keeping it fair to pass Diamond Backs third baseman Augie Ojeda. Read more
Jul
9
Tuna Fish Sandwich Is Running for Mayor
July 9, 2007 | 1 Comment
by Fritz
San Francisco- As this city just passed a No Intolerant Looks Law San Francisco will be practicing what it preaches as another fringe candidate has entered the fray against popular Mayor Gavin Newsom. Announcing early Monday from a cellophane wrapping at the Safeway Read more
