Jul
15
Nice Classmate Succeeds; Depression Grips Class of ‘96
July 15, 2007 | 1 Comment
By Dan Wheeler
Connecticut – Anne Hennigar, 1996 graduate of NYU School of Law and 11-year staff attorney in Connecticut’s Office of the Attorney General, was promoted two days ago and is now the state’s youngest Attorney General ever. Apparently the whole dang state government recognized Anne’s hard work, incredible legal talent and overall virtue. Even her peers acknowledged that if anyone deserved the top job, it was Anne. In a press conference today announcing the promotion, Connecticut Governor John DeVine gushed about how much he looked forward to working with Anne, what an inspiration she was to the nation’s children and blah blah blah. Read more
Jun
20
New San Francisco Schools Superintendent Proposes Eliminating Students
June 20, 2007 | Leave a Comment
By Dan Wheeler
Carlos “the Broom” Garcia, San Francisco’s newly-hired schools superintendent, is excited about his innovative strategy to once and for all fix the city’s troubled school system. “I don’t know why no one thought of this before” he exclaimed in an interview at his Pacific Heights home. “If we assign students to schools based on race and we order the white and Asian kids to be bused Read more
Jan
4
School’s Out Mutha Sucka
January 4, 2007 | Leave a Comment
by Sam Goldsmith
A controversial educational program has been embraced with gusto by local children and their teachers in the wake of growing school violence around the country. No longer willing to be sitting ducks, the new federally funded training program instructs students and their teachers that the best way to handle a gunman in their schoolhouse is to deliver a can of Grade- A Whoop Ass.
