Jun
12
“I think it would be sweet!” -Newsom
by Fritz
Hunter’s Point San Francisco- San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom announced Monday that his plan for public housing has been a work in progress but it is starting to take shape. In the $95 million proposal a giant roller coaster would be constructed closing down about 300 units of Hunter’s Point houses and apartments.
“He calls it The Hunter’s Point Roller Coaster Spectacular.” Wren Sims, a spokeswoman for the mayor said. “It’s under design review with the same architect that re-designed the Stanford Stadium, Hewey Johnson from Hewy Architects & More.”
Newsom gave the announcement to a crowd of supporters at the fancy one of the Alice Griffith Public Housing buildings of Bayview. He proposed that $5 million be put up by the city as a down payment Read more
Jun
6
Ed Jew Finds $10,000 in Couch Cushion
June 6, 2007 | Leave a Comment
“I should really clean my couch more often.” -Ed Jew
by Fritz
Sunset, San Francisco- Ed Jew was busy doing spring cleaning in his house in the Sunset Wednesday after the FBI trashed the place when he reportedly found $10,000 under one of his couch cushions. No word yet from authorities on if the money found was part of the $40,000 that Jew took from the Quickly chain store.
“I plan to give the money to a charity close to my heart.” Jew said at a press conference that he organized himself. “I’ll give it to….oh I don’t know….the Friends of Sunset Playground! Yeah that’s the ticket!”
Fay Mayberry, PR director for the Friends of Sunset Playground, made a statement late Wednesday to the press saying that she’s never heard of “Eddy” and that he should take his couch money and shove it. “Friends of Sunset Playground only takes serious donations Read more
Jun
5
San Francisco Weighs Move to One Party Government
June 5, 2007 | Leave a Comment
By Ned Sanbourne
San Francisco city government officials are scheduled to vote next week on a proposal by local environmental activists to officially recognize only one political party, the Democratic
Party, within city limits.
Proponents argue the measure must be taken if the city wants to get its Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design (LEED) certification. According to local activist Willow Spring Gaia-Terra, “multiple political parties have an unacceptably high carbon footprint. All the campaign signage, the litter, the money spent on TV time that could be spent on carbon offsets, its time to say no!” Many city officials we spoke to seemed to agree. According to one source, “a one-party system actually offers more diversity than you would think. While it is true that San Franciscans essentially think alike on national elections, we do have a range of political thought here. You have the conservative nudist/naturist/anarchist/animal supremacist wing of the party as well as a few extreme groups that reject the political process entirely. With primary elections, we are sure to have enough choice for everyone.” Read more
Jun
3
by Fritz
San Francisco- San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom declared an early victory Sunday after he found out that hardly anyone is willing run against him in this summer.
“He said he felt like Superman.” A top aid Terry Gee said. “He bought the pajamas and everything.”
As it stands Newsoms numbers look like they will hold up. He has a 79 percent approval rating, mainly due to his position on union workers, homelessness, low income housing, adultery, and underage drinking. Newsom especially saw a boost to his approval after he cheated with his ex-campaign manager’s wife. As it turns out San Francisco voters applaud that type of behavior.
The only serious candidate that has stepped to the challenge has been Supervisor Tony Hall from the far right of the middle left. Newsom has been quoted as saying that “Tony? He is a big poopypants…I can beat him with my right arm tied behind my back.”
“I don’t know why he had to call me a poopypants.” Hall said. “I don’t do that anymore. I take medicine for that. Read more
