Local San Francisco Man Has No Game

February 20, 2007 | by Fritz | No Comments

by Fritz

It was a perfect Sunday afternoon at the top of San Francisco’s Russian Hill. Just a little bit of wind but mostly it was sunshine and a perfect time for tennis. Dan Wheeler and Fritz found themselves with a beer in one hand and a cigar in the other sitting on a bench watching some people play tennis and shoot hoops. Dan was making several comments about the other people who were playing especially picking on th Old Lady with a walker who was just out to enjoy the day nothing more.

Fritz made a comment to Dan that maybe he should shut his yapper until he got on the tennis court after the last beer of the six pack was gone. Dan did not agree. In fact Dan continued to run his mouth not only through the 2nd beer but well into the 3rd. “That Old Lady can’t do this….” and “That Old Lady can’t do that…” Fritz listened. On and on it went.

Finally the beer was gone and it was Dan’s turn to show the Old Lady up. Fritz and Dan got their racquets out as well as the one ball that Dan brought. (Note: Dan only brought ONE ball…what a moron). Dan started to jump up and down moving his arms as if to indicate that he was “warming up”. He started shuffling his feet side to side in a stiff and uncomfortable motion. Fritz clearly started to cramp up just watching this display. Dan took the ball as if his brief “warm up” was enough that he could go full speed into a game right away. He went to swing at the ball….whiff! Just then Fritz and Dan turned to a laugh they heard coming from cross court. It was the Old Lady! The Old Lady was laughing at Dan’s game! In a fit of rage Dan went to smack the ball as hard as he could. He hit it alright, but the grace, form, speed, and control that some people think of when they think of a tennis ball being hit was not projected with this hit. No, rather the ball popped up into the sky over the tall fence and bounced down the hill never to be found again. The Old Lady continued to laugh and Dan walked off proving to the world that Dan really has no game.