http://www.crookedstreetpress.com San Francisco News That You Can Lose Sat, 03 Nov 2007 05:42:58 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en “I plan on flipping this puppy and move to Russian Hill.” Homeless man Sal Kirby said by Fritz San Francisco- Homeless Camps value skyrocketed Monday in city parks everywhere as a rush of homeless are scooping up what remaining. Some camps in Golden Gate Park costing up to ... http://www.crookedstreetpress.com/news/homeless-camps/ “I just didn’t hear it.” Lance Huffman said. by Fritz San Francisco- Lance Huffman from Nob Hill was reported to have slept right through his alarm this morning causing a shock wave of concern throughout the apartment building as well as making him late to work. “I thought he was dead!” ... http://www.crookedstreetpress.com/news/huffman_alarm/ “She got the talent for it.” Robert (The Nerd) Burnbaum said by Fritz San Francisco- Neighbors in the Outer Sunset district reported Thursday that Edith Yam has increased her status to “Cat Lady” as she has now over 7 cats purring around the house and yard. This new status moving ... http://www.crookedstreetpress.com/news/cat_lady/ Contributed to Crooked Street Press by Ryan Curtis Dave Covalt Owner Izzy’s Dear Mr. Covalt: I am writing to inform you about a tragic event that took place in your restaurant on the evening of June the twenty third. After nearly three thousand miles and over a week in the car, I found myself standing travel-worn on the ... http://www.crookedstreetpress.com/news/local-man-short-changed/ Contributed to Crooked Street Press by Sam Goldsmith San Francisco- A calm has finally settled over the inner Richmond district after a truly chaotic afternoon. The barricades are down and the crowds have thinned. In what many consider the most unnatural of phenomenea, there are a flood of questions regarding the sudden disappearance of retired appliance ... http://www.crookedstreetpress.com/news/bit-off-more/ by Dan Wheeler San Francisco -- In an unexpected decision by Northern District Court Judge Bruce Oswold, San Francisco City Council will come under the control of Marin Day Care Center. The decision came after the latest bout of hair pulling and name-calling between Supervisor Chris Daly and Bevan ... http://www.crookedstreetpress.com/news/marin-day-schools-city-council/ "He gave it a good run, but as always he came up short." Clyde Duff said. by Fritz San Francisco- Clyde Duff (29) and Joe Stevenson (30) reportedly got into a bit of scuffle on Sunday with each other over the mysterious late word change to one of Stevenson's words in what ... http://www.crookedstreetpress.com/news/local-mans-attempt-to-cry-a-river-failed/ Contributed to Crooked Street Press by Ryan Curtis There is nothing quite so wondrous as a day off. Except perhaps for the sort of day off when you vow to do nothing more than lay about in a form of catatonic lavishness. Thursday was just such a day. After sleeping in much later than ... http://www.crookedstreetpress.com/news/diarrhea_day-off/ “Well I guess I know where I stand.” Robert Smith said by Fritz San Francisco- Robert Smith from Nob Hill opened his e-mail Wednesday and found that he had no new messages in his inbox. Witnesses say that Smith was fairly devastated by the news and didn’t take it very ... http://www.crookedstreetpress.com/news/no_emails/ contributed to Crooked Street Press by Sam Goldsmith There are a few people who consider television the low tide of our culture. I read recently that Jamie Lee Curtis proudly declared that she'd never seen an episode of Friends or Cheers or any of the other shared television experiences now considered classics. It was ... http://www.crookedstreetpress.com/news/tv-good-stuff/ “I really didn’t want it to start this way.” Mason V. Neibaum, Mayor Candidate by Fritz San Francisco- On the wake of a disastrous launch interview with Crooked Street Press reporter Chip Burns, Mason V. Neibaum (the “V” stands for Victory) has dug a huge hole. Monday Neibaum was on the ... http://www.crookedstreetpress.com/news/neibaum_rocky-start/ Hello everyone. My name is Chip Burns. Today we have Mason V. Neibaum as our guest. Mr. Neibaum is a calculator watch salesman with Johnson’s Watch Emporium on Nob Hill. He is a husband of Nancy Neibaum and a father to one daughter. He is ... http://www.crookedstreetpress.com/news/cb_neibam-2/ By Dan Wheeler Connecticut -- Anne Hennigar, 1996 graduate of NYU School of Law and 11-year staff attorney in Connecticut's Office of the Attorney General, was promoted two days ago and is now the state's youngest Attorney General ever. Apparently the whole dang state government recognized Anne's hard work, ... http://www.crookedstreetpress.com/news/nice-classmate/ Contributed to Crooked Street Press by Sam Goldsmith San Francisco- Treasure Island will be back in the movie business again. It's been a while since Hollywood stopped by and so it's a welcome sight to see the equipment trucks and catering vans tying up traffic near the old aircraft hangers again. ... http://www.crookedstreetpress.com/news/hollywood_treasure-island/ Contributed to Crooked Street Press by Dave Lindley San Jose- It was just another ordinary day for Rich Lark, San Jose retiree. Little did he know that an e-mail, mistakenly sent to his “spam” box would change his life forerver. Crooked Street Press interviewed Mr. Lark recently to ... http://www.crookedstreetpress.com/news/spam-winner/ "I call it well-timed-word-enhancment...F&#@ SH** B*^%#!" -George Henry Estate Planner by Fritz San Francisco- Estate Planner George Henry came down with a severe case of tourette syndrome about 9 months ago strangely enough while he was in front of a judge in a court room. Henry says that ... http://www.crookedstreetpress.com/news/estate-attorney-with-turrets-learning-to-adjust/ Witness say that it was a suicide. “The last words I heard him say was that he just wanted one more.” Lucy Chang Buffalo Wings waitress by Fritz San Francisco- In an effort to find the ultimate chicken wing Sammy Golds and Morty Wallace chose to watch the Major League Baseball ... http://www.crookedstreetpress.com/news/chicken-wings-terror-plot/ http://www.crookedstreetpress.com/rackafracka/blue-footed-booby-cartoon/ by Fritz Daly City- Former Giant Dustan Mohr captured this years Bunt Contest as he laid down a bunt down the third base line just keeping it fair to pass Diamond Backs third baseman Augie Ojeda. Players that were not in the All-Star ballot radar took the field in ... http://www.crookedstreetpress.com/news/bunt-contest/ by Fritz San Francisco- As this city just passed a No Intolerant Looks Law San Francisco will be practicing what it preaches as another fringe candidate has entered the fray against popular Mayor Gavin Newsom. Announcing early Monday from a cellophane wrapping at the Safeway in Diamond Heights, Tuna Fish ... http://www.crookedstreetpress.com/news/tunafish/