Jul
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Chip Burns Interview with Mason V. Neibaum
July 16, 2007 | by Fritz | 2 Comments
Hello everyone. My name is Chip Burns. Today we have Mason V. Neibaum as our guest. Mr. Neibaum is a calculator watch salesman with Johnson’s Watch Emporium on Nob Hill. He is a husband of Nancy Neibaum and a father to one daughter. He is on my show today to make an announcement. Mr. Neibaum what do you have for us?
Well Mr. Burns, I ….
Don’t call me Mr. Burns.
Well Chip, I….
Nope. Don’t like that either.
Chip Burns?
That’s okay.
Well Chip Burns, I am on your show to announce my intentions of running for mayor of
And when is the election?
Uh…November?
You heard here first folks! Big November election coming up! Better get out and vote! Now Mr. Neibaum…What makes you think you’ll be a good mayor for
N: Well because I am trustworthy, I care about the homeless, and I….
Cb: Do you drink Mr. Neibaum?
Uh…well on occasion I like to have a glass of….
You heard it here folks! Like Newsom like Neibaum both raging alcoholics. He can’t stop putting down the glass; he’s got to have just one more!
Now wait a second I didn’t say that I….
Have you ever had sex with someone other than your wife Mr. Neibaum?
What?!
Just answer the questions.
Well, before I was married in college I…
You heard it hear! Alcoholic Neibaum running around sleeping with anything that moves!
This is outrageous! I’ve never said anything like that!
What do you think of the corruption of Ed Jew, Mr. Neibaum?
Finally a normal question. It is unfortunate that the current Supervisor Ed Jew has made our top spots in city government so corrupt. If elected mayor I will do everything in my power to end the corruption that is alive in this position. I will kick Jew out of office!
You heard it here folks! Mason The-Drunk-Sex-Addict-Anti-Jew Neibaum running for mayor.
Anti-Jew?
Cleaning up
This not called for! I never said anything like that and you know it. I demand that you take that back.
Vote Neibaum if you like to drink, sleep around with college women, and your anti-Jew.
Who is Fred? Probably a gay lover.
Fred is my campaign manager and I am not gay!
You heard it here folks! Anti-Jew and anti-gay Neibaum looking to run for mayor on an alcohol and sex platform. Vote Neibaum in November!
This interview is over!
Join us next week when we talk with a Muni bus. Good day everyone.
(3 votes, average: 5 out of 5)
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Comments
2 Comments so far
my mind speaks that this is at best ridiculous.
the head is had, and i think that the single person who gave it a five star vote was either not paying attention, or doesnt care about quality in anyway.
this is not hatred however, just a musing. though in the days that we inhabit I would say that its not the worst thing going on.
at least youre trying to be funny, there is nothing but kudos for that.
Come soon to headlines on The Drudge Report