Jul
11
Bucket of Chicken Wings Kills Two
July 11, 2007 | by Fritz | 3 Comments
Witness say that it was a suicide.
“The last words I heard him say was that he just wanted one more.” Lucy Chang Buffalo Wings waitress
by Fritz
San Francisco- In an effort to find the ultimate chicken wing Sammy Golds and Morty Wallace chose to watch the Major League Baseball All-Star game at a local greasy spoon called the Buffalo Wing Express. Golds and Wallace died later that night due to an explosion.
“They came to table 10 and the bald one screamed out that he wanted the “Bucket O’ Wings” with “extra spicy sauce”, so when the other bald one didn’t object I just did what I was told. “Lucy Chang a waitress and witness said.
Scientists say that the Bucket O’ Wings at the Buffalo Wing Express has about forty fried chicken wings that are then “super injected” with a hot sauce that is really just a mild tranquilizer for fighting wooly mammoths in case of a ice age. The scientists also admit that they maybe mixing up reading the menu and a discussion they had earlier regarding Global Warming.
Nonetheless, the two bald men pursued the Bucket O’ Wings after Chang had delivered it to their table.
“I could see that both of them were in obvious pain yet they kept on eating.” Chang said. “Why would someone do that to themselves I don’t know but these guys seemed to really enjoy it.”
“I think it was suicide.” An old man said. “I think it was a terrorist plot by chicken wing.” CSP moved away from the old man.
Golds and Wallace exploded shortly after ordering what investigators are calling the “igniting agent” which was a scoop of blue cheese. The explosion took out both men and destroyed was left of the bucket and table 10. Although no one else was hurt according the old man who kept following us it may have been a suicide by chicken wing terrorist plot.
(4 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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Comments
3 Comments so far
now this, is funny man… good job
Thank you Josh. This is one of my favorite.
Nice. Reminds me of the Atomic wings at Quaker Steak and Lube. Damn those things are hot!