Driving Range to Open Up in Visitacion Valley

June 17, 2007 | by Fritz | No Comments

“It’s the only driving range in golf where you need your flak jacket.” Dirk Stubble Head of Security at First Tee Driving Range

Contributed to Crooked Street by Luke Boggs

San Francisco- Clyde Thurgood is carrying his golf bag. In it he has his driver, his 1 and 5 wood, several irons including a pitching wedge and a sand wedge a putter and a 9 mm hand gun. Thurgood is hoping to fit in a round of golf at Gleneagles nine hole golf course. “I don’t play golf without my nine.” Thurgood explained. “ You never know when some sucka is going to try to clip you while your putting.”

Thurgood is one of many avid Visitacion Valley golfers that will be excited to use a new driving range to open next year at a large playground at Visitacion Valley Middle School. The new range called “First Tee” will have a 30-by-60 foot putting green and a netted driving range, along with a pawn shop and liquor store.

This idea was the brain child of Sandy Tatum, a former USGA president, when she was driving around Visitacion Valley for “Shits and giggles”. She happened upon a empty middle school playground and the dream was born.

“At first I think the idea was to have a pawn shop there and liquor store but then city planning department would not allow us to have both a liquor store and pawn shop so close to the middle school without a sporting venue to host children’s after school programs.” Harold Jackson a spokesperson for Tatum said. “They negotiated and came up with a pawn shop, liquor store and driving range…ya know…for the kids.”

Several names were discussed for the driving range. First Tee was natural winner after beating out “Shooting Range” and “You’ll-Never-Take-Me-Alive Pig” and the runner-up “Pipe Dreams”. First Tee will be a place where many people who have never played golf will get their first chance and will die trying.

“I think golf is a good sport to test your patience. Especially if your armed with a glock.” Rex Tumbleton explained.

Young golfers were brought in on Juvenile detention buses to Geneagles to create some grass roots buzz around the project. They were given a 6 iron and a putter and were taken for a round. The feed back was encouraging to Tatum and others as they found that most of the kids were taking a liking to the sport.

“I took my 6 iron to the pawn shop and got this killer walkie-talkie.” Lloyd Fullerton age 11 said. When asked who had the other end of the walkie-talkie Fullerton explained that he didn’t know.

“I like golf.” Jason Kilper age 10 said. “You can really bash someone’s head in with this putter. Kinda like they do in my video games.”

Parole officer Ted Chandler was happy to see the kids doing something constructive. “Golf can really teach them some valuable life lessons. Like waiting your turn, do-overs, and bartering to name a couple.”

When Crooked Street asked LaQuanda Latisha, age 15, what her handicap was she explained that she was not “retarded,” but that she just “learns slow.”

A Crooked Street Press poll taken of about 5 people with a margin of error of 50% showed that a majority of them were in favor of the driving range move but questioned the need for a pawn shop and liquor store. Crooked Street caught up with pawn shop owner Tyler Nelson.

“Well it’s a market that no one has tapped yet. Think about it, middle school kids are going to have golf clubs that can be very valuable and could be traded in for bubble gum, lolly pops, jaw breakers and hand guns. But I have a strict 3-day waiting period on all fire arms and cross bows. You know how many lolly pops you can get for a Taylor Made driver? I rest my case.”

Having put the na-sayers to rest with that answer Crooked Street did not interview any more on that subject as it was pretty much a non issue at that point.

Another question that was raised by Crooked Street’s extensive poll was the cost. In this run down neighborhood how much were the fees? We caught up with Tatum’s spokesperson Jackson on the issue.

“Well it’s all about perceived value. What’s Harding Park charging? $100-150? So we’ll be around there. See if you charge too little then people think your a run down municipal. You have to price it just right. Let’s just say you’re not going to play this course using food stamps.”